Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
