He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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