You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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