I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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