just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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