so let's talk penis.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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