I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
