You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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