i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Randomize
