How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
