Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
