Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize