Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
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