I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
