Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
