nut hugger
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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