so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
