if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Randomize
