Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
