I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
