Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
