Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I didn't shave. On purpose
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
