so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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