You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
