we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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