The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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