question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
