we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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