she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
