i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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