So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
