things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
