you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
