You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
