oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I'm just crazy horny about you
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
