I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
