I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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