I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
