I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
