fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
