if i died would you start the facebook group?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
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