i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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