those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
