I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
