the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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