She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
