he told me I talked like a deaf person
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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