Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
