My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
