His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
